Why??????!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so three weeks ago, we received notice from our adoption agency that we would have to redo all of our adoption paperwork because the adoption has taken so long and our paperwork is only good for 15 months in the U.S., not China. If we don't redo it, then our daughter will not receive a Visa to come back with us. UGH!

First, I was really angry! I wanted to be able to blame someone, but there was no one to blame, it's just the adoption process. I did ask God why too? I asked him if he hated me. Why is our adoption process taking so long, why so many glitches? I love and trust God with all my heart, but some things I just don't understand and probably never will on this earth.

Next, I became really sad. So sad, that I couldn't even sleep. I would lie in bed and cry and worry. I continued to work. My students were awesome. I think children can sense when your down, even if they don't know why. I must have looked like crap though. I thought my make-up was covering up the dark circles under my eyes, but when both my bosses asked me if I was alright because I looked tired, I guess the make-up wasn't doing the job.

I was really stressing because I had to depend on other people for most of the paperwork- doctor's appts., police appts., insurance agency appts., etc. I have a hard time depending on other people because I can do jobs so much faster and better myself. Or at least that's what I like to think. :)

I shared this news with few people because I simply didn't want to talk about it because it hurt so bad. The few I shared with, shared with others, which is ok and I was overwhelmed by the cards, bookmarks, flowers, money, phone calls and visits that I received. Thank you to all my family and friends for the support. It means more than you will ever know. God speaks through other people sometimes and I believe this is how he was speaking to me. He was telling me he did care, and he would take care of me.

Well, all the paperwork is re-done now and it feels GOOD! We should be getting our baby girl this summer.
I am looking forward to my Spring Break coming up. I hope to get some sleep.
Vicki